What is Love? Part 1

Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no mo…Oh im sorry, i couldn’t resist that one, but who would, right? It’s so catchy and classic, one of the gems of the late 80’s. But, what IS love? What is that thing that has being praised throughout human history in songs, plays, stories, books, poetry, cinema and paintings? Is it a feeling, a force, or merely a brain response towards human instincts? Or could it be a social construct, something we created just so we could justify our actions? Well, i believe the answer lies somewhere in between, so lets take it from the beginning.
Now i know that there is no word for being in love in the english language (or there is but i couldn’t find it), but in greek we call it “eros” {air’-ohs}, keeping that in mind, lets take a look at a small passage from Hesiod’s Cosmogonia.

In the beginning there was Erebus, the Great Darkness, and Nyx, the Eternal Night. From their union the first primordial gods were born, Chaos, and Eros*. Eros, deity of the driving force, introduced order into the Chaos, and out of it, Gaia, the primordial womb, came into being.


Primordia God Eros
Primordial God Eros
*Aphrodite gave the name Eros to her son, in honor of the primordial god, that would later become the Roman counterpart of Cupid, that’s why many seem to confuse these two deities.

That makes way much sense, doesn’t it? The ancient Greeks believed that all life came into being by a single little thing, desire. Because desire, eros, is considered the strongest driving force that exists. admiringly, that’s true. You see, being in love is one of humanity’s divine aspects. Eros, brings an apotheosis in a person’s life, meaning that as you fall in love you feel like your whole perspective of the world is changing. You feel better, the colours seem more vibrant, songs make sense, kinda feels like you start seeing behind the lines, transcending somehow, whereas love, is a human emotion. Meaning, that it encloses all those things that make us human. Fear, jealousy, anger, pressure or self-destruction.
Basically what im saying is that from the looks of it, eros (being in love) is not ‘designed’ to last, while love appears to include some kind of deteriorating factor. But lets not rush this, shall we, after all, i did spend weeks researching this subject in all aspects, from social to psychological, and i do believe that there many thing we should tackle on this post. So, first of all, why do we kiss?

I. The Science of Kissing

Did you know that the average human spends more than 20,160 minutes of his/her’s life kissing? Strange isn’t it? I mean, sure, today kissing represents love, passion, affection or romance, but how did it began? I can hardly imagine the fist two to people in history to kiss, being in a romantic dinner, or in the movies, so how did it happen? Well, what if the first kiss ever in history was not between a man and a woman, but between a mother and a child, would it make more sense? You see long before all the supermarket shelfs of baby food, powder milk, or baby vitamins, it was a world of fruits, roots, leafs, and much later meat. So early human mothers would chew the food, and kiss feed their children, much like birds.

Kiss feeding
Kiss feeding



It is highly believed that kiss feeding played an important part in human evolution since through premastication, an infant would be able to fully absorb complex vitamins, zinc, carbohydrates or B12, that were sometimes not available in breast milk, and anti-body generators, through its mother’s saliva, that were beneficial for its health, and would result in healthier offsprings with each generation.

Nowdays science has discovered that kissing is actually good for your health, a few of these benefits are:

  • It reduces blood pressure

Kissing helps to dilate your blood vessels, which may help lower blood pressure

  • It relieves cramps and headaches

The blood vessel dilation effect as described above also helps to relieve pain, particularly from headache or menstrual cramps.

  • Fights cavities

When you kiss, saliva production increases in your mouth, and this helps to wash plaque on your teeth that may lead to cavities. That said, cavity-causing bacteria can also being transmitted via a kiss, especially if the person you’re kissing has poor oral habits. Its even shown that cavity-causing bacteria can spread from a mothers kiss to a baby. So take care of your teeth fellas.

  • Release of “happy hormones”

Kissing prompts your brain to release a happy elixir pf feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. This isn’t only important for your happiness, it may also help to strengthen your relationship.

Oxytocin is the hormone od love, and the better the oxytocin levels, the more capacity there is for lave. We have found that those who are not seem able to commit in a relationship are low on this hormone”, explains psychotherapist Dr. Arthur Janov, director of the Primal Center in Santa Monica. Interestingly enough, kissing activates the same areas in your brain linked to reward and addiction. According to the researchers: “Kissing may have evolved as a way to stimulate brain systems associated with sex drive, romantic love, and attachment so that humans are triggered to seek a variety of potential mates, then focus attention on one for mating, and finally be able to tolerate that mate long enough to raise a child as a team” 

Keep the words in bold text in mind kids, trust me.


Now some of you may think, “ok dude, that’s fine and dandy, but I still don’t get why i feel like kissing someone”. Well the short answer is their face.
You see,  there is no other creature on Earth with the ability to distinct faces like humans do. We are so good at it, we even collectively suffer from paraeidolia, a psychological phenomenon involving a stimulus that we perceive as significant. In other words, we see faces in everything, even if they’re not any.
Now, from our birth up to 4 months, we can only focus to still objects 20-25cm away. and what is always 20-25cm way? Our mother, while we breast feed. So unconsciously, a face that is close to ours, is instantly making us feel intimacy, warmth or security.


Not only we are driven to test potential partners via kissing, the very first thing that we learn, is to feel comfortably and natural about it, and our eyes have evolved to help us out. Ever wondered why we are the only creatures that have white around our irises? Well, the sclera, is designed to perfectly locate another person that is staring at us. Additionally we have impressive gaze-direction networks in our brain, containing individual neurons that fire when we make eye contact, but stop firing if their gaze sifts, even by a degree or two.

So to recap,  we have evolved to constantly be aware of potential mates, so we could test them with a kiss, in order to form a relationship that would provide a good environment for the two partners, so the chances of a healthier offspring will be increased. After the birth of the child, our brains decide that love between partners is no longer important so they slowly begin shutting their neurons down, to focus on more important things, like the well-being of their off spring, and the continuation of the parents genetic material.
And they still say Aquarians are emotionally unavailable.


That concludes the first part, although I didn’t want to break this article into two parts, but I really want to upload some new content, even though I don’t have the time to complete it. So two parts it is!
So join me next time for the conclusion, we still havent found what love is, and as always, thank you for reading.

If you liked this post please click that like button, and share it, so other people could know, or leave a comment in the box below. You can also click on the follow button to make sure you know when a new post is up via email, or contact me on a social network. I look forward to hearing from you.

*All sources will be included in the final part

4 thoughts on “What is Love? Part 1

    1. Thank you for reading Chris, really appreciate the feedback, also i cant even imagine how awsome a two aquarian household can be!
      Be sure to check part two coming today!


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